I don't change.  I've tried.  My eating habits.  My exercise habits.  Laziness.  Procrastination.  Being content with things I probably shouldn't be.  Doing just enough.  The part that gets to me, that really, really gets me is that I know better.  I know my life could be better if I were more proactive.  If I sought out my interests with more enthusiasm.  That I'd feel better if I was more picky about what I ate and in what quantity.  That I'd sleep better, feel better, think better and have more energy if I exercised on a regular basis.  That I'd be more motivated if I didn't drink so much.  I can see the relationships between all the small things that would improve my overall health and wellness but I can't seem to make them function all at the same time or for longer than a few weeks at a time.  

Now is the time of new years resolutions and I can honestly say that this is the first year that I'm actually scared to make one.  I feel like every time I make a resolution, weather it's for a new year or just a few pounds and I fail I feel it chip away at my character.  

I have much more to write on this subject as it has been weighing on me heavily for the past couple of years but I must get back to work.