Friday, May 29, 2009

name that frame

if you can tell me what movie this is from i'll give you a shiny quarter. if you can tell me the name of the character on the left i'll tip for you on your next drink. if you can tell me what scene this is i'll toss in a hug. totally worth it, huh?

guilty pleasures

i like it when girls do that whole baseball cap and pony tail long as it's not accompanied by a velour track suit.

another song for the day.

Kink Khan & the Shrines

being bored with the first band.  
taking tequila shots.
justin punching me in the stomach to get rid of hiccups and accidently tossing my beer in the air.
starting a mosh pit.
being put in a head lock by the bouncer for starting a mosh pit.  
trying to tie my shoes in a mosh pit.
bumping into someone else trying to tie his shoes in the mosh pit.
dude getting butt hurt and grabbing my shirt like he was in the fifth grade and going to give me a black eye.  
laughing at dude because it's funny that we both were trying to tie our shoes in a mosh pit.
being put in another headlock for almost getting in a fight.
picking justin up and tossing him on top of the crowd.  
thinking of and then forgetting the most amazing name for my band.
leaving the venue dripping with sweat.  
really, like dripping.  like my jeans were soaked.  jesse soaked through two shirts and a jacket.  like so soaked that the carpet was wet where i took off my clothes.
getting home and eating a bowl of creme of mushroom soup, two pieced of bread w/ butter, a piece of spanakopita and a bowl of cereal for dessert.
all in all.  an amazing night out with the boys.

Song for the day.

Red Fang - Prehistoric Dog

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

more russian river fun

kelsey busted her lungs blowing up pool toys.  but she looked good doing it.
i think this is the last day.  we were all pretty haggard from the previous day and night.  i think half of us woke up burnt and the other half woke up hung over.  i still have a dividing line mid thigh.  lower half = red and hairy.  upper half = white.
Noelle looked like hulk hogan but rad.
lazy lazy lazy.
cat p looking dangerous.
cat's boobs were crazy.
hooray for hot tubs 
yes, my knuckles say asia turd.  it from a game.  it was fun.  alright i was drunk.
john and lauren stayed inside a lot.  i guess this is what they did.
the girls that made it all possible.  
cup cakes are just some of what happened... this kitchen.

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Birthday shots...

My brother has been addicted to glue for a while now.  

i would have preferred that everyone use their hands but my friends are fickle.

Truman, Patrick, Brett and sad Justin.

Memorial Day on the Russian River

...with the lesbians.
pool boy, oh pool boy.

I love these girls.

today i ate

for breky:  i had one small beef patty topped with herbs and feta.

for lunch:  i had a half slice of pastitsio and two more small beef patties.

for din din:  i will have a piece of spanakopita and two more beef patties topped with herbs and feta.

we have a friendly squirrel in our yard who likes to be hand fed and pet.  he also likes to dig into our pots and hide his nuts.  we have a small herb garden, three tomato plants, jade and lavender growing on our back deck.  if he kills any of them i am going to eat him.  no joke.

Friday, May 22, 2009

todays lesson

i rarely use a napkin.   usually use my socks, sleeve or just wipe the food in like it was some kind of moisturizer.  however, if i were to become a regular napkin user i would do one of two things.
i would either start to store my napkins in the fridge.  a cold napkin in so much more refreshing.
or heating them in the oven.  possibly a bigger, better oven.  like toasty socks, you can't go wrong with a toasty napkin.

harassed on the streets

today, as i was riding down golden gate towards the city.  a car sped up to me and began honking.  there was a red light in front of me so they had no where to go.  i slowed to a stop.  then they pulled up along my left side and began talking shit.  it was an suv filled with a bunch of black boys probably in their mid teens.  they looked very, very high.  they told me that i wasn't in a car.  i told them that that was pretty observant of them.  then they told me to 'get the fuck outta the road.'  and began chucking.  they said 'you aint a car.  what the fuck are you doing in the road?  you aint supposed to be there.'  and then they began chuckling and swearing at me while talking to each other.  you know, like saying 'this stupid mother fucker'  and 'look at this mother fucker'  things like that.  so i told them to fuck off to which they responded 'What!'  to which i then told them to go fuck them selves.  that they if they are going to talk shit then they better know what the fuck they are talking about.  the light then turned green and they drove off and i went on my way to get a vietnamese sandwich and a gai bao.

last night...

the girl of my dreams moved away.  it tore my heart apart.  oh, we wrote for a while.  talked on the phone.  but soon that faded.  i thought that she had forgotten about me.  i tried my best to move on.  to forget.  i became a teacher at my old elementary school, woodside.  i taught the second grade.  34 amazing students in my class.  it happened at the 10:10 recess.  it was a sunny morning, crisp.  she walked out onto the black top.  she walked straight out of the sun.  we were adults now but she still looked like a child.  she walked right up to me and put her arms around me.  we met that afternoon to catch up.  we picked up right where we'd left off.  and then she told me.  she told me about how she'd met a boy and they'd been married for about a year now.  showed me the ring.  i feigned interest.  she tried to soften the blow by telling me that her new job would have her traveling back home a few days each month.  that we'd be best friends again.  i knew better.  as she promised, she was back the next month.  we began having an affair.  for five days a month, she was mine and i was hers.  this lasted until september or so.  i didn't see her all winter.  not a word.  not a letter.  i was back at school, trying to forget again.  it was early july.  the bell had just rung and the kids were funneling out the door.  running down the halls.  it was late may when she walked back into my life again.  this time she hugged me tighter, harder.  like she wasn't holding anything back.  we held each other for a long time.  it's funny.  i couldn't feel it in her breathing but i could tell she was crying.  i cold feel the chill of her tears on my neck.  i pulled her away from me to look into her face.  just as i did i heard a little boy say 'mommy'.  he was about three or four.  she stretched out her hand calling him over.  his name was james too.  right then i knew.  i knew that this beautiful boy was mine.  i was then introduced as i knew i should be.  as his father.  he ran over and wrapped his tiny arms around my neck.  i picked him up and looked at her.  we didn't say anything but i knew, i knew that she was mine from now on.  as i had been hers all along.  i woke up with crying this morning.

ps..i think i just dreamed in that a color. ha.

Thursday, May 21, 2009

yesterday at my birthday party...

yesterday two amazing things happened.  the first of which was a perfect day long road trip upon which i saw camel, bear and alpaca narwhals.  the most impressive was the alpaca.  it's horn wasn't just a spike off of its head.  it was more like a great white crown that came to a point.  it sorta looked like an ice mountain on top of its head.
later that night the second thing happened during our indian pizza dinner.  the power went out.  there was the sound of glass breaking and a scuffle down stairs.  we were all sitting on the floor of my living room wondering what the hell was happening.  jesse still holding his pizza slice near his face.  he was staring hard at me.  i knew that he'd be ready to move when i moved.  truman was doing that wide mouthed, slow motion chewing while turning his head side to side staring out at everyone with his huge eyes.  my brother, cigarette in one hand and a can of pbr loosely held in the other.  suddenly the glass to the back door exploded in wards.  i looked at jesse and we moved one way.  everyone else, it seems, has scattered.  
Jesse and i ran down the hallway looking for a way out.  room after room, all the windows had been boarded or barricaded from the outside.  i could barely hear the sounds of the others panicked footsteps and voices over my heavy breathing.  there was a lot of yelling and then gunshots and then silence.  jesse and i stopped into a room and ducked into a closet.  it seemed to be a young girls room as the closet was filled with tiny dresses and dolls.  we sat with our backs against the wall.  there was no way out and we were out numbered.  they had guns.  we had nothing.  i remember the clubs i had hanging on my wall.  the fijian war clubs.  my room was just across the hall and one door down.  we make a dash for it.  our heels narrowly missed by a spray of bullets.  they are close.
in my room i grabbed one of the clubs from the wall.  it was much bigger than i remember and it's light.  on my floor near my bed is a big machete.  it's more of a huge rectangular shard of metal that has been crudely sharpened with a handle stuck on the end of it.  jesse grabs the other club and a short sward.  we sat on the end of my bed, our weapons drooping to the ground and considered for one second that these are the last minutes of our lives.  
i don't remember actually killing anyone.  at least not visually.  i just remember swinging.  furiously.  with no regard.  i remember the way it felt, the impact.  i could feel the difference.  i could feel the difference from when my club was stopped abruptly with a sharp noise by a wall or piece of furniture and when it was stopped with a thud from a softer more absorbent object.  i can only assume those were body parts.  i also remember how it felt to use the machete.  what it felt like to hit bone.  that cracking-grinding feeling.  
i don't know how long this went on for or how many of them there were.  all i know is that i woke up alone.  in the living room.  there were pieces of people everywhere.  bone fragments and sludge.  my hair was sticky.  my ass in a red  puddle, my legs splayed in front of me.  my back was against the couch.  it was soaked through.  sticky. 
it was at this point that the urge to pee became so strong that i woke myself up and went to the bathroom.

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

bday survival

today is my birthday and i was almost run down by a tow truck.  i was riding down post in the right hand lane.  as i was approaching the grant ave. no cars were coming.  the light was green.  there was a two truck in the center lane.  just to be clear there was a lane of parked cars to the left of me, the lane i was riding in, and the lane the tow truck was in.  there is another guarded lane along the park.  so as i was riding i was taking the lane due to all the foot traffic popping in and out of the street.  as i'm about to pass the driver side of the two truck, mind you the truck wasn't moving even though our light was green, he decides to rush through a right turn.  again, from the middle lane.  i start yelling "wo, wO, WO, HEEYY!!!"  and quickly speed in front of his car and  am forced to hop a curb.  he speeds off only to be stopped by a red light.  i ride up to his passenger side window and yell at him "how about using your blinker next time mother fucker!!"  to which his response was to gun it forward though the intersection.  I was pissed and shaken and didn't think to get the truck number or the plates.  wish i had.  

anyway, other than that it's been a great day.  woke up late.  did some pull ups.  ate breakfast.  went to the doctors for my regular std tests (this in no way means i'm worried.  it's just my standard test i get about three times a year) as well as a tb test (for a class i'm registering for).  I also had my back looked at.  it's been filled with battery acid for about six or seven years now.  i need a series of massages.  the doc and i then joked about going to the tl for this.  and now i'm at work.  we just had cake and wine and the day is coming to a close.  i'll end it with friends at my place.  some food, more wine and then bed...or should i say sleeping bag.

Friday, May 15, 2009


I'm hung over.  I played kickball and quite well.  I had a bottle of shiraz in my back pocket the whole time.  Soon we were on a blanket watching but not really watching Amelie.  Four or five more bottles of wine were consumed and I learned the very valuable lesson that dogs really are chick magnets.
We rode/walked to Benders.  I fell off my bike and put a whole in my favorite pair of pants as well as my knee skin.  I ate something spicy and fried that makes my rear feel fiery and sliced.  We got yelled at by an employee or just some angry guy for being in the back yard.  We all laughed at him.  
Pat, Justin, and I all chased Jesse home.  We were on bikes, he was on foot.  He ran the whole way.  I tried to let him ride my saddle while I stood and pedaled.  It didn't work the first time.  Or the fifth.  We did run into a lot of parked cars though.  
I got home and ate a bowl of creme of mushroom soup with some other stuff dumped into it and topped with a thick layer of sriracha.  
I somehow managed to have enough of my wits about me to plug in my phone.  
I slept naked in my sleeping bag.
It was a gassy night, I'm sure.

I just googled wowsers and here is what showed up.

Whose boobs are these?
Bush being pummeled by a cartoon character...or the worst mascot ever.
Can't you just feel it.
I think it would be incredible to have a med-to-large dog sized squirrel as a pet.  Both terrifying and cuddly.
There are two invisible Cambodian children being paid to tug at this guys ears.

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

on my wall my office i have this.

Schlitz was my drink of choice in high school.  well, after i graduated from mickey's grenades and 40 oz's it was.  plus, look at tommy lee jones.  now is that a face or what.  you wish you could only be so lucky.

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Songs for the day.

Zion-I and The Grouch, Trains and Planes

Zion I & The Grouch-Current Affairs

Swift Water Rescue in Yosemite, May 8-10 '09

Swift water crossings are tiring. 

Surfing a small little hole.  I'm the on at the end (on the left).

Monday, May 11, 2009

Lunch Time Run

Swift Water Rescue in Yosemite, May 8-10 '09

Rope guns!!

We stayed in a completely empty camp ground.  Fell asleep to rushing water every night.  Woke up to the sun creeping down the valley walls.  
Julie lecturing.
Swift water swims.

A small hole that we got to play in for a couple of hours on the river boards.  Surfing was super fun but playing last man on the wave was way more fun.
Group shot.
Rescuers on the move.

I'm pretty sure we did something wrong here and Julie is telling us to get our sh#@ together.