Wednesday, February 25, 2009

I like girls

But best of all, I like girls in short pants. 
Dapper looking girls in short pants.
Summery looking girls in short pants.
Sleepy, just-woke-up, looking girls in short pants.  
Business looking girls in short pants.
It's-so-hot-and-humid-I-can't-wear-any-other-item-of-clothing looking girls in short pants.

Some things I like to see with short pants.
Plain tees.
High heels.
Long droopy gold.
Door knocker earrings.
Colorful sunglasses.
Girl hats.
Dogs, and not small fit-in-my-purse crappy dogs.  Big dogs.  Rip the tire off of a truck dogs.  Firehouse mascot dogs.  

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Boys IV Men

Boys IV Men show tonight at Adobe Books.  These guys sound fun and it's free, can't really beat that in this economy.  It's at Adobe Books, 3166 16th Street.  Oh's FREE!!!

Words that have been in my head for the past two weeks.

endabash thicket.

Friday, February 20, 2009

i hate socks

The only saving grace of socks are that they double as napkins.  

Fixed at Hubba's Hideout

I still don't know how I feel about the whole fixed trick scene.  But this is in an old skate spot so I thought I'd post it anyway.  I ride my bike under this quite often and every time I think of fools riding the top ledge.  I think there is a video out there of some fool losing it and going over.  I'll take a quick look and see if I can find it.

Thursday, February 19, 2009

Yosemite Group Shot

Sterling, Amy, Sara, Scott, Kay and me below.

Casual Encounters of the Third Kind

Text conversation at 11:26 a.m.

Unknown Number:  I'm in Elk Grove.  Will you come watch me masturbate?  That's my fantasy.
Me:  What?!  Who the hell is this?
UN:  I saw your ad on Craigslist.
I don't know why but I immediately thought someone was effing with me and not in a funny way at all.  In hopes to find the post and confirm that it was my number and then contact CList and tell them to delete it as it was a fraud I asked...
Me:  What was the title?
UN:  Look at this exotic beauty.
Me:  And it had my number in it?
UN:  Oh my god I am so sorry!  It was supposed to be 925.234.6980.  I am so sorry!  I didn't meant to bug you.
Me:  You had me frightened.  I thought someone was fucking with me.  Hope you hit it off.
UN:  Again I am really sorry and no you are ok and no one is using your number.  Thanks.

I totally intend on calling this person, this exotic beauty, later tonight.  Who knows what I'll say, I know I don't, but I'll figure that out later.  I mean how many times in my life will someone accidently text me sexy messages thinking I'm an  exotic beauty.  I just figure I've got to call even if just to say 'shoot, one of your casual encounters called me this morning and wanted me to watch him get down.  How's that make you feel?'  I actually kind of hope this happens night while I'm out at a bar with a bunch of friends.    Imagine the endless possibilities.  

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Yosemite/Groveland/Saint Valenwhoneedsyou?


Snow.  Woot.

Believe it or not this is a real card game and we tried to play it, however it pretty much consisted of everyone yelling at each other about the rules and then everyone would have to drink for something and then we would yell some more.  
Scott and Amy.

This pic makes the game seem fun.
This pic makes it look exhausting and not fun.  

It was frightening.

So we decided to run through the snow in the woods at night and push people into barbed wire fences while they are trying to climb over them.  
The cabin.

We drove a lot.

I didn't make a snow man, but I did carve a face into some snow on a table.  He's bored.

Apparently you have to stalk your shot.  The pictures around here can see you coming from a mile away so you must dress like a DB hunter to get the shot.

Beer and wine and lunch in a bread bowl.
The Iron Door Saloon.  People are crazy here.  Like crazy no teeth.  Crazy super horny.  Crazy crotch thrust dance.  Crazy depressed and overwhelmed bar tender crazy.  Crazy Asian guy with a mullet crazy.  Just crazy.


The Iron Door.

Scott, me, Mark and Sara.


Scott & Kay.

Jeff getting choked out by Amanda.


El Capitan.

Um, another El Capitan.
The Ahwahnee Hotel in Yosemite.  We rocked that fire place for a few hours, a few bottles of wine and just long enough to get to know two 'off' employees and a bunch of semi lame guests.
We were drunk so we thought all of them were great though.
Oh yeah, we all took our shoes off and pretended that we owned the place.  Booyah!!!  Smell that.

An 'off' employee.
The other 'off' employee was a Ralph Machio look alike who had no idea how to wait on customers or what the meaning of customer service is or how not to talk trash about his employer, the hotel, in front of other guests.  
Oh yeah, you could sit IN the fire place.