Cashews are meant to be eaten by the handful. You must first pick out all the broken halves and eat those, then you get to eat the whole halves. Next in line are the cashew that have both halves still stuck together but are in some other way broken or not whole. Chow on those. And when you're finished with them you'll have in your hand what I like to imagine as a miniature herd of baby elephant seals. Look at them. Just lounging around in all their buttery, blubbery goodness. Just relaxing, listening to the waves lap against the rocks. Slowly. Steadily. You study them. Which baby elephant seal looks the least tastiest? This is the one you must eat first. Generally the lighter, smaller ones. Then you work your way up in both size and color until you have left the perfect baby elephant seal of a cashew. Oh, it's so good, so buttery and crunchy.
This is how I eat my cashews.