food shame

i can cook. i grew up in the kitchen next to my mother who, it just so happens, my full blooded theas say is a better greek cook than any of them are. i grew up chopping, roasting, grilling, frying, etc. etc. in the city, with out a car, grocery shopping often winds up on the bottom of my list. unfortunately, so does laundry, but that is a whole other post. when i do shop, i usually spend a good deal of time wandering in and out of china town produce markets, fish markets and butchers. i usually end up with some great looking dishes. unfortunately, no one gets to see them except me. this is the part of my eating habit that i'm proud of.
there is, however, another side, an ugly side. this is the side that, when i run out of groceries and left overs, runs up to china town, orders the most disgusting looking thing on the menu (usually because it offers the largest quantity or because it was the cheapest) from the dirties, tiniest place and drags it back to work. now i'm sitting at my desk, staring down this big brown and black hunk of something, that incidentally is staring meaner and harder right back at me. it's got red and green peppers chopped on top of its head. there is fat and gristle showing and it's sort of quivering. someone usually looks up from their desk and asks what the smell is to which i respond by slathering it in more sriracha, eating faster and mumbling something about the other side of the office.
i'd say i eat my meal in the office just about everyday of the week. now, before you go feeling sorry for me saying 'he's got no friends, poor thing.' let me explain my reasoning. i usually spend my lunch out out of the office, hanging in the park with friends, going for a run or a ride over to the water, or having a pint at reds place. i then come back to the office and grub. that way i get all my lunch break for doing things i want to do. this does however mean that everyone sees, and even worse, smells exactly what i'm eating. if i cared, i'd probably be a bit more careful. instead, i just eat like a maniac before anyone can see it. seems to have worked so far.