Thursday, March 19, 2009


"Dear dipshit who yelled "Go Back to the Marina!" at me and my girl friend, unprovoked, as we were crossing Geary Street on St. Patrick's Night:

You're a jackass in so many ways. I've come to realize that in hipster twat-speak, "Marina" can be roughly translated into standard English as "conventionally attractive and appears to bathe regularly." That said, I was born and raised in this city, OK? And no, not even in the Marina. In the Haight. And you, where are you from? Oh, Orange County you say? "Just outside of New York?" That must have been awesome. So now you moved to the Tenderloin in search of some authentic life experience in the form of ogling homeless people and drinking Pabst, and now you consider yourself very "street", right, very gritty, and feel entitled to yell at random passers-by who you feel are douching up your hood--correct?

Actually, it is you who is douching up MY city. Go home. Please. I was here WAY before you were. I grew up less than two miles from the very spot where you notified me and my friend (94118 born and raised) that we were not welcome. My entire family lives here. I would be delighted if you, on the other hand, would go back to whatever douche breeding ground from whence you and your kind came. You're the reason that San Francisco natives resent assholes who come here, drive up rents and contribute only raging, appalling douchebaggery to the local culture.

Thanks for reading. I feel better now.