Friday, October 10, 2008

A Wednesday From Hell

I drink a lot of water.  A lot.  So I pee a lot.  On Wednesday night, about an hour after falling asleep I woke up having to be extreeeeeeeeemely bad, like painfully bad.  So I went, I peed, I went back to bed.  About a half an hour later I woke up in agony.  I seriously thought that I had torn my bladder or it had burst and that there was urine inside of my body poisoning me.  I was in absolute, sheer pain.  I tried to go pee but nothing really came.  The more I tried the more pain I was in.  I was groggy enough to think that it'd pass so I kept trying to sleep.  I couldn't lay down though, I couldn't sit up.  I couldn't stand up.  I could barely breath.  The pain was sharp, intense and traveling through my organs and out my penis.  It was getting worse and I was gasping for air in between shots of pain.  I called the 24/7 nurse and asked her witch ER I could go to.  
I called a cab and directed him to St. Mary's on Stanyon.  We actually had to stop at an atm so that I could pay him.  I almost threw up on the key pad.  In the ER I was signed in and then made to wait for only about fifteen minutes.  The amount of pain I was in had increased tenfold in that short amount of time and I was yelling at the nurses 'where the fuck is the doctor!!'  Eventually I was taken in, they checked my blood pressure and temp and all that.  I told her I was about to throw up and pass out.  
I was eventually taken to a room and set on a bed.  I told them that it felt like someone had shoved a metal clothes hanger up my penis, through my bladder and to my kidneys and was simultaneously heating it and electrocuting it while at the same time sucking my organs out through my penis.  Yeah, it hurt.  They stripped me down, they shot me up with morphine and gave me an IV.  They asked me to try to pee in a jar.  I told them it'd take time as I can't pee with the amount of pain I was in and that I had recently been emptied.  Eventually I mustered up the fluids and they took it for testing.  It came back with traces of blood.  They said that they were going to treat it as a Kidney Stone.  A fucking Kidney Stone.  Shortly after I peed for them my pain again multiplied.  I was, at this time, rolling back and forth on the little bed, grinding my teeth, sweating, gripping the pillow and the beds railings.  My knees in the air.  About every five seconds it felt like electricity was shooting up my penis to my kidney and then back out.  This went on for a couple of hours.  They gave me more morphine and another IV.  Eventually the pain peaked.  I was dripping, my muscles cramped, my jaw exhausted, I wanted to cry.  And then, nothing.  I mean, nothing.  I was fine.  I relaxed my muscles, I opened my mouth and took a deep breath and lay there for about forty five minutes.  
I eventually mustered up the courage to try to pee again.  When I was done I looked in the jar and guess what I saw.  A little black stone about a quarter the size of my pinky nail.  It looked like a mushroom in shape, like pencil graphite in color and like hell in the way it felt.  I'm waiting to hear back about the test results of what caused it.  I'll let you know.
Needless to say I took yesterday off to recover.  I was hopped up on vicodin to help the process.  Brett, Dempsey, Steve, Dim and my brother all called or came over to keep check on me.  Thanks guys.  
Today I'm just trying to focus on forgetting the whole thing.


Logan Ryan Smith said...

ahhhhhh! JESUS CHRIST!

man, that's bad. that's real bad.

i thought those things were caused by dehydration, drinking too much booze, or drinking too much coffee and stuff like that-- so, who knows how that happened.

that's scary.

jt said...

My god, man. I'm so glad you're better.

Thing is, you're like the most healthy person I know, you eat a good diet, hydrate properly, exercise regularly and are way too young to be developing stones.

I hope this is a fluke and never, ever happens again.