burned

So I was at Truman B-day party. Brett was going to bring this girl by that she thought I might like. Whatevs, whatevs, dancing, mingling. So at one point I was dancing with said girl but was out of beer. I was on my way to the cooler but decided to stop and dance like an absolute idiot in the doorway. Said girl comes up from behind and I accidentally kick her. How was I supposed to know she was there??? Second incident. I grab Truman's pot belly statue and start getting down with the thing. Said girl decides this is unacceptable and decides to push me to the back of the hallway, near the bedrooms. While doing so she walks into a table. Now she is calling me a beater and abusive and what not. Anyway, party goes on, we talk more, dance more. When she is leaving I ask if I can call her. This is great, she looks me dead in the eye, not the slightest glint of humor and says, I don't want to be abused. Then she turns in a huff and walks down the stairs.
At this point I'm running around the party shouting "I got burned!!! I got burned!!!" Jesse Easley is my homey and he is kinda trying to pump it up and we end up just laughing our asses off.
So about an hour later I get a text from Brett. She says "'Girl' just called and asked for your number." Seriously, I hadn't even gotten half way through Brett's text when another one comes in, this one from girl. It says, "Sorry, I wanted to give you my number. I'm into S&M."
What!!!!!!

Reserved.